Contrary to what spas and nail salons would like you to believe, self-care is not about pampering and getting “me-time” while shelling out beaucoup de bucks in the process.

Self care means tending to the real needs of your mind, body, and spirit. And while there is definitely room for cucumber water and 24K gold facials in this equation, most of the time, what is really needed, is an internal process of connection, self reflection, and deepening our understanding of ourselves. And then, responding with concrete actions to address any unmet needs.

When we address the symptoms of chronic stress, like shoulder tension through a massage, we release just enough pressure in the system to prevent things from exploding. But we are forgetting to address the real unmet needs that lead to the pressure building up to begin with. This is a collection of some of my favorite tools to help us really get of the bottom of what is driving symptoms or unwanted behaviors. So next time you are catch yourself in the middle of doom scrolling or about to hit “check out” on your next online shopping spree, take a pause, use one of these tools, and notice what happens. Chances are, if you address the core needs, you will be more likely to go for a walk, spend time with your kids, schedule a lunch date with a loved one, or cuddle with your pet instead of going back to destructive behaviors.

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